


Don't Let Them Break You

by Random_Quality



Category: Big Time Rush
Genre: Cyber Bullying, James Saves The Day, Kendall Angst, M/M, Purging, Self-Harm, Sex, three-shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-22
Updated: 2013-02-24
Packaged: 2017-12-03 05:36:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/694748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Random_Quality/pseuds/Random_Quality
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kendall receives an offensive tweet with a link to a website dedicated to kicking him off the band. After a while, Kendall starts to believe the nasty things they post on it. That he's ugly, fat, not good enough, shouldn't even be on it. So he seeks a way to relive the pain, while also trying to become what they want him to be. James just wants Kendall to see that he's perfect the way he is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> HI! I wrote this about a year ago for anti-bully. Something similar to this happened at my school, I was shocked that they had something like that. This is to get awareness out there, that there is more than one type of bullying. But I swear that this has a happy ending! Enjoy!

Kendall sat around the kitchen table with his best friends, laughing and with out a care in the world. Carlos and Logan were bickering as per usual. Something about Carlos going on a strict no corndog diet. He didn't know all he cared about was this wonderful moment he was sharing with his friends.

"But why, Logie? You know I love corndogs." The Latino wined.

"Because Carlos, this obsession of yours is unhealthy! I found your corndog stash in the bathroom, Carlos. The BATHROOM! This needs to stop." Logan yelled flailing his arms.

Kendall scrunched up his nose. "Really? You found it in the bathroom? Why would you even need one in there?" He asked in part disgust, and part disbelief.

The caramel boy grumbled. "I get hungry in the shower."

James barked out a laugh. "How would you eat it, Carlitos? Wouldn't the dog get all soggy and gross?"

Carlos brightened, straitening to tell the pretty boy all about his ingenious way on how to eat a corn dog in the shower, "Well I-"

"Carlos! We do not want to know about your eating habits in the bathroom!" Logan paused and thought over that sentence in his head. "That sentence should never have even been implied! You shouldn't be eating in the bathroom period!" Logan was nearing hysterical levels now.

"But I get hungry." Carlos wined again.

"You're always hungry." Logan snapped.

Kendall snorted, his friends where the weirdest people sometimes. Meh, what can you do? He loved them anyway, some more then others, but he didn't want to think about that right now. He'd get depressed and he liked the happy atmosphere he was in right now.

"Hey Kendall, can you get me another soda?" James asked sweetly.

"No." Was Kendall's blunt reply.

"Aw, why not? I'm thirsty." The pretty boy wined.

Kendall gave him a once over. "Are your legs broken?"

"No."

"Can you walk?"

"Yes."

"Do you have arms?"

"Yes." James was starting to get mad at the pointless questions the blonde was asking.

"Then get your own damn drink. I see no reason why I should get it for you." Kendall snaps.

"Pwease Kendy?" James says. And damn it he's imitating Katie's puppy dog eyes perfectly and he said Kendy. The nickname he gave Kendall when they were younger. He'd always cave whenever James used that name against him. Double damn.

Kendall looked away from the adorable sight of the boy in front of him; afraid if he didn't he'd end up kissing him. And that would freak James out and he'd hate him. "Fine." Kendall sighed interrupting his train of thought be for he got depressed. He got up and walked toward the kitchen.

"Thank you!" James said happily.

Kendall walked into the kitchen and over to the fridge, pulling out two cans of soda. He jumped when his phone vibrated in his pocket. He turned around and set the cans on the counter to pull out his phone. He thought it was another tweet from a fan, so he pulled it out to see what it said and reply to it. His brows furrowed in confusion upon seeing the tweet. The tweeters user name was KendallKnightHater. Confused on why someone would put that as their name he scrolled down to read the tweet.

KendallKnightHater: I don't understand this guy. His eyebrows don't match his hair and his nose is the size of a watermelon. I mean, BTR would be better off without him and this website agrees with me.

Kendall frowned. What? Could there really be a site dedicated to hating him. He clicked on the link after a moment of debating on if he really wanted to know this. The site opened and Kendall's frowned deepened. The whole site was dedicated to wanting him out of the band. Did people really think this? People actually wanted him kicked out of the band?

He scrolled down to read the comments, is heart constricting in pain with every hateful comment. They went from criticizing his hair and face to even go as far as calling him fat. He looked down at his stomach. He wasn't fat, wasn't he? Well, he didn't have James amazing abs and he really didn't work out, but he wasn't fat. He ran his hand over his stomach self-consciously. He guessed that he could lay off the sweets for awhile.

Kendall didn't really care all that much for how he looked, defiantly not as much as James, but these comments made him to start doubting how he looked. He couldn't help that his nose was big, or that his eyebrows were bushy. He brought his hand that was on his stomach to his hair. It was lifeless and dull.

"KENDALL!" James' voice broke him out of his trance, "What's taking you so long!"

Kendall shook his head, "Sorry! Got distracted! Be right there!" he yelled back, thankful his voice didn't break. He grabbed the cans of soda off the counter, looking down at them. He opened the fridge again putting one of the cans back in. He needed to cut back on his food intake. Those comments about his weight really bothered him.

He walked back to the guys, handing James his drink. James flashed Kendall his flawless smile. "Thanks Kendy." He said, opening the can and taking a sip.

Kendall's breath caught in his thought at the smile. James was such a beautiful boy, inside and out. His heart ached with longing. He was completely, undoubtedly, head-over-heals in love with the pretty boy. But James would never want him. There was a whole website listing why the boy wouldn't want him.

Kendall smiled back weakly, "Yeah." He whispered back. He turned away from James looking at the floor. "Hey guys I'm not feeling too well. I'm going to go lie down." He said. He left the room before the three could respond.

Kendall walked into his and James' room, then into the bathroom connected to it. He closed and locked the door behind him. He rested his hands on the sink and looked at him self in the mirror. He winced at his reflection. The people that commented on his looks were right. He was ugly and fat. He didn't understand why he didn't see it sooner. It was why James wouldn't want him and why Jo dumped his sorry ass and went to New Zealand.

He was unlovable.

He closed his eyes as pain shot threw him. The words his father said before he left coming back with full force. He'd never told anyone that he actually new why the man that was his father left. No one knew that the night he left he had come in to Kendall's room, drunk, and told him that he would never find love, he would never be happy, and that he would forever be worthless. He never believed them until today. Those comments on the website conforming what his father believed was true. What he now believed was true.

He felt sick. Quickly running over to the toilet next to the sink so he could throw up. He sighed, leaning his head against the rim of the seat. He felt a little better. At least the things he just threw up won't make him fatter.

His eyes flew open. That's it! That's how he will lose weight, along with not eating as much; he'll make himself attractive again. He reached for his tooth brush resting near the sink and lent over the toilet and stuck the brush in the back of his mouth to make himself gag. He threw up again, sighing with relief when the feeling of being lighter came over him. Continuing this process until nothing else would come out and he was just dry heaving over the bowl.

He stood up, flushing the toilet and washing off his tooth brush. After washing out his mouth, he walked over to the shower and turned it on. Once it was warm enough for him, he striped and got in. He sighed when the warm water hit his skin. He could feel himself relax somewhat.

Kendall washed quickly and turned the shower off and got out. Groaning when he remembered that he hadn't brought any clothes in with him, he wrapped a towel around his waist and grabbed another to dry his hair then walked out.

Kendall halted mid-step upon entering the room, seeing James on his bed reading a men fashion magazine… in just sweat pants. Kendall looked away quickly for fear of being caught staring and that would lead to a conversation Kendall didn't want to have. He wouldn't be able to stand the disgust and hate in James' eyes if he found out.

"Hey Kendall, do you think I'd look good in an ascot? You know, rock the whole Freddie look from Scooby-doo?" He called from the bed.

Kendall opened his mouth to reply but James cut him off. "Never mind I already know. I don't need your opinion because I can rock ANY look!" James cheered.

Kendall smiled and shook his head fondly. It immediately dropped when his fathers voice came into his head. 'He doesn't want your opinion Kendall because your horrible with fashion, horrible at everything. Worthless.' The voice hissed in his head. Kendall shut his eyes tightly, fighting back tires. He turned around and got his clothes, quickly sliding his boxer-briefs on under the towel and throwing the rest pf his clothes on, then quickly left the room.

James looked up at Kendall's hasty retreat. He quirked a eyebrow at the now closed door and shrugged, going back to his magazine.

Kendall nearly ran out of the apartment, ignoring the curious cries from Carlos. He needed out of their, now. He walked over to the stair-well and up to the roof. He sat down and looked up at the sky. It had gotten dark and the few stars you could see in the L.A. sky were shining. They reminded him of James. James was his star, his light in the darkness. James was his world and if he ever found out how he felt his star would hate his. He would truly be unloved.

Kendall's fathers voice flooded his mind again along with the comments from the website about his personality. The weight and his appearance he could at lest try to fix, but his personality, the person he was he couldn't. He couldn't take it anymore, the constant pain, he need something to distract him.

He looked around desperately for something, his vision blurry with tires. His eyes landed on a broken beer bottle. He quickly scrambled over to it. Picking it up and pulling up his shirt, he brought it to his stomach and cut. He shuddered as the could glass cut into is pale skin. He made another two cuts, before sighing with relief. He felt so much better.

Kendall glanced down at his phone noticing that it was late and he should probably get back. He cleaned himself up a bit in the lobbies restroom before going back to his apartment and walking into his shared room with James.

Kendall smiled at the sleeping form of James, wishing that he could crawl into bed with the pretty boy. He shook the feeling off and yawned quickly changing into pajama pants and shirt. Then crawling into bed and almost falling asleep immediately after his head hit the pillow. Today was emotionally and physically darning.

*Line break 'cause I still don't know how to do it*

This process continued. Kendall would only eat when he felt like he was going to faint from lack of nutrition or to satisfy his mothers worried stares. He also would sneak off from time to time to either go to the roof or the bathroom to cut when the pain got to be to much.

Reading comments from the website became a morbid obsession of Kendall's. He didn't know why he kept reading them, he just did. There was always a new comment about his appearance or personality and every time his broken heart would crack more. He thought that maybe he kept doing it because one day someone would post a comment defending him or one day the page wouldn't come up and instead the page that said the site didn't exist would.

James was getting worried himself. He'd noticed the change in Kendall's demeanor. Kendall wasn't as loud or happy like before. He would sneak off at odd times and not come back for hours. James also noticed that he would be constantly checking his phone and there would be a brief flash of pain before Kendall would mask it and look away. Kendall's appearance was suffering too. His skin was pale, boarding sickly, his normally golden shining hair was a dull shad of yellow, his usually piercing emerald green eyes that would always twinkly with mischief and laughter were now a hollow green. It was staring to scare James.

James was observant. People say that he was vain and self-centered, which was true, but when it came to his friend nothing could get past him. He knew when Logan was about to have a panic attack and how to calm him down. He could tell when Carlos was in pain from a resent stunt and trying to hide it. He could tell when Kendall needed someone else to be the strong one and let them take over before he broke. So he knew Kendall was not alright.

He'd seen Kendall look similar to this only once. And that was back in seventh grade when they were still in Minnesota, when Kendall's father left. The light in Kendall's eyes had gone out that day and he knew that Kendall wasn't telling the whole story on why his father left. But James hadn't pushed it and instead focused on make that light in his eyes return. After about a week some of it had and when it was six months had come it was almost completely back.

Almost.

James knew that a person didn't completely heal from something so traumatizing, but Kendall was smiling and happy again so James didn't complain.

Now seeing Kendall like that again seriously scared him. But he couldn't fix it until he either found out or Kendall told him. He just hoped that when he did find out it wasn't to late for him to fix it.

Finally, one day Kendall slipped. After a day of being yelled at by Gustavo and the comments from the website that day where particularly harsh, Kendall had rushed off to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door in his hast.

He grabbed his razor from under the sink were he stashed it, tour off his shirt and made one long slow cut across his stomach. He hissed in pain then sighed in relief as the pain eddied away. A small horrified gasped made him jump and whirl around to come face to face with the watery hazel eyes of James.

"James..."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James finds out how bad things are for Kendall and confronts him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! This is the next chapter! Enjoy!

"James…" Kendall whispered. He was frozen in shock only able to stare at the pretty boy as he walked toward him.

"K-Kendall? What, why, Kendall?" James couldn't get a full sentence out. He walked over to the green eyed boy and withdrew the razor blade from his hand. Kendall tried to speak, to say something but nothing came out. When he did finally mange to squeak out something James just shook his head not looking at Kendall as he turned to the sink.

He opened the mirror and took out some anti-infection cream and gaze that Mama Knight keeps in there for the boys many injures. James never thought they would have to use them for something like this. He spread the cream over Kendall's slightly sunken in stomach. Kendall hissed at the burn that the cream caused. The sound making James flinch slightly. He then applied the gaze and straighten to look at Kendall's stomach fully.

James felt like crying. His best friend was starving himself and he didn't even know. He knew something had been wrong but nothing like this ever crossed his mind. Kendall was the leader, the rock of the group. The rock didn't crumble. The rock was there to help the others when they crumbled. But the proof was standing in front of him. The rock was crumbling and he didn't even know it was happening.

He could see Kendall's ribs threw the thin layer of skin. He'd lost so much muscle tone and his stomach was sunken in. He could also see some scares peeking just above the bandage around his middle. He didn't understand. Kendall never did stuff like this. Not when his dad left, not when his grandparents died, never. This just wasn't Kendall. Kendall was self confident, proud, and strong. The Kendall in front of him wasn't that. This Kendall was small, broken, and fragile. He didn't like it.

James looked up into Kendall's eyes and his heart shattered. The beautiful emerald eyes where broken and filled with fear. James rushed forward and enveloped the broken boy in a warming hug. Kendall jumped when James' strong arms wrapped around his too thin body. He hesitated before clinging to James and burring his head in James shirt, fighting back the urge to cry. James grip tightened. He wasn't going to ask right now. The most important thing right now is Kendall and what Kendall needs right now is a hug.

Kendall finally broke completely, sobbing into the pretty boys chest. He need this, god did he need this. He need the comfort, the love, the reassurance that someone cared. But then the comments and the words his dad said come flooding back and he cried harder. He shook his head against James chest mumbling incoherently.

James kissed the top of Kendall's head and stroked his hair. "Shh, it's okay. I'm here, Kendall. I'm here." He whispered over and over in the blondes ear, rocking him slightly.

Eventually the crying boy's sobs quieted and his breathing evened. James pulled back and lifted Kendall's chin so he could look into Kendall's eyes. His already shattered heart crumbled to dust at the sight. Kendall's eyes were puffy and red, tear tracks marred his beautiful face, and his lips still trembled slightly. What could have possibly happened to put the usually strong boy in this broken state?

Kendall looked up into the eyes of the boy he was in love with. He should tell James what was going on. He has just cried for probably an hour into James' chest. James eyes where filled with worry and fear. Kendall's never seen fear so prominent in his eyes before. But why was he scared? Was he scared for him? Did he really care that much?

Kendall shook his head mentally. That didn't matter right now. Now he need to tell James why he had broke down. He focused on James worried eyes again. But he couldn't. The words died in his throat, fear of what the pretty boy would think of him snatching the words away. He forced himself to speak anyway. "J-James, I-I c-c-can exp-plain." He rasped, voice hoarse from crying.

James shushed Kendall from talking further by kissing the blonde's forehead. "Kendall, it's okay. You don't have to tell me now. Right now what you need is a comforting friend and that's what I'm here for. We'll talk about it in the morning, okay?" James whispered, cupping Kendall's cheek and tilting his head so he would look him in the eyes.

Kendall glanced behind James to look at the digital clock that was in the bathroom. Kendall had installed it their personal, so James would know just how long he stayed in their and hopeful come out at a reasonable time so he didn't make them late. The glowing red letters said that it was already 9:41.

He had been crying for over two hours.

They'd gotten home late at around seven and when they had gotten home, he'd rushed in here. When Kendall saw how late it was and how long he'd been crying, a sudden wave of fatigue washed over him and he realized just how exhausted he really was. He slumped against James and nodded weakly, having trouble keeping his eyes open.

James chuckled, picked Kendall up into his arms and carried him over to the blonde boy's bed. He set him down onto the cool sheets and pulled the covers over his body after taking off Kendall's Vanes. He lent down and kissed Kendall's head again. "Goodnight Kendy." He whispered affectionately.

He straightened back up and turned to go to his own bed, but a tug on his wrist stopped him and he looked down to find Kendall had grabbed his wrist, his tired green eyes looked up at him hopefully. "Please stay…stay with me tonight, Jamie." He said letting go of James hand and scooting over to make room for James.

James bit his lip in thought, then decided to climb in next to Kendall after he kicked off his shoes. "Sure, Kendall. Now please get some rest."

Kendall snuggled into James arms, feeling warm and safe. He was lulled into a half-wake half-asleep stat. "Mmm, I always feel safe in your arms, James." He said sleepily, not completely in control of what he was saying. He curled up tighter into James, "I love you." The blonde breathed before his breathing evened and he was over come by the blissfulness of a deep sleep.

James froze, looking down at the sleeping blonde in his arms. It always felt right to hold Kendall. He'd also always had this overwhelming desire to protect the green eyed leader. Plus whenever Kendall had flirted with or dated other girls, he'd feel this pang of jealousy shoot threw him, but he'd always brush it off. Now it made since.

He kissed Kendall's temple, "I love you too." He whispered into Kendall's golden hair before falling into a deep sleep himself, wrapped up in the arm's of the boy he loves.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James assures Kendall that he is perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter! This is the chapter with sex! Hope you enjoyed reading my story! Now enjoy this chapter!

Kendall woke up pressed to something warm. He hummed in satisfaction and buried deeper into the warmth. His eyes shot open when the warmth chuckled.

"You comfortable Kendall?" The brunette beauty chuckled.

Then everything came rushing back to him. James finding him cutting, James comforting him, he telling James that he loves him. He…telling…James…he…loves…him. Well crap. Kendall jerked back in surprise, tumbling over the edge of the bed and onto the floor.

James scrambled to the edge of the bed and looked over to find the blonde sprawled out on the floor nearly hyperventilating. "Kendall! What's wrong? Are you okay?" James asked worriedly.

"James! I'm s-sorry. I-I-I sw-swear I c-can change. I wont l-love you anymore! Just give me time!" Kendall was sobbing so hard he was shaking. He was so scared of losing James. He wouldn't be able to live if James rejected and hated him. He felt like vomiting again.

James' heart broke, "Oh, oh Kendall. Shh. It's okay." James soothed getting down to sit next to the sobbing blonde. He pulled Kendall to him, trying his hardest to get Kendall to calm down.

"Pl-please J-James. I'm s-sorry. Don't h-h-hate me. I can change. I c-can change." Kendall continued to sob, desperately clinging to James shirt front.

"Don't you dare change, Kendall Knight." James said sternly

Kendall's head shoot up to look into James' burning hazel eyes. "W-what?"

James' facile features softened. He reached up and brushed a strand of blonde hair out of Kendall's broken green gaze. "Kendall I don't know what happened to cause you too look so broken, but what ever it was you have to know that I would never hate you. It's just not physically possible. I love you. More then anything."

Kendall had stopped sobbing, but crystal tears still ran freely down his cheeks. He shook his head. "No you can't love me. I'm ugly and unlovable. I just bring the band down." Kendall said quietly, looking away.

The brunette was taken back. Why would Kendall ever think something like that? He was the single most beautiful person he has every meet, inside and out. "Kendall look at me." James said. Kendall squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. James was having none of that. He grabbed Kendall's chin and turned his head to him, Kendall's eyes still closed. Then he swooped down and kissed the blonde.

Kendall's eyes' flew open in shock and before Kendall could even process what just happened, James pulled away. "Kendall, you are not ugly. You're absolutely gorgeous. And the band needs you. You're what got us here in the first place. Now for being unlovable. Kendall, Carlos and Logan love you like a brother, you're Mama Knights real son, she could never hate you, and Katie doesn't like to show it, but she is so proud of her older brother and she adores you Kendall. As for me," James smiled lovingly down at the shorter boy. The smile making Kendall's heart do back flips, " would another kiss prove that I love you?" Kendall just nodded dumbly, not fully comprehending what was happening.

James dipped his head down and captured the blondes pink lips in his own. Kendall's brain finally caught up to him and he melted into the kiss. Kendall reached up and snacked his hand around the brunette singers neck, pulling him flushed to his body. James smiled into the kiss, bringing his tongue out to run along the seam of Kendall's lips. The blonde groaned in approval and granted James the access he asked for. James swirled his tongue around slowly, making sure to hit all of Kendall's sweet spots and make the blonde moans louder.

Kendall let James take full control of the kiss. It was a kiss Kendall needed. He could feel the love James was putting behind it. He felt loved again and Kendall honestly wasn't sure how he felt about that, but now wasn't the time to have these thoughts because James tongue was in his mouth and coherent thought was to distracting right now.

Eventually they pulled apart, panting for air. James rested his forehead against Kendall's. James open his eyes and looked deeply into Kendall's broken green ones. "Do you believe me now? Do you believe that I love you?"

Kendall looked up into the pretty boy's loving gaze, searching for anything, anything at all that would tell him James was just fucking with him. After what seemed like forever for the two boys, Kendall slowly smiled. "Yes, yes I believe you," He whispered, "I just don't understand why."

James face scrunched in anger and he pulled back just enough to look at Kendall fully. The brunette watched Kendall's facile features morph into confusion. He looked in to the blonde's eyes again, noting that they still looked broken, not as much as before, but it was still there. He pulled Kendall to his chest and buried his head in Kendall's golden hair.

Kendall yelped in surprise. He wrapped his arms tighter around James shoulders as James wrapped his around the blonde's waist. "What is it Jamie?" He asked, confusion clear in his voice.

"What broke you, Kendall?" James said looking into Kendall's shocked gaze. "What caused your eyes to look so shattered? What caused you to think that you don't deserve my love?" James asked desperately.

Kendall looked down while biting at his lower lip. After a moment he sighed, he was going to tell James anyway. Now's as good a time as any. He disentangled himself from James and grabbed his phone out of his pant pocket and handed it to James.

"I got a tweet a few weeks ago with a link to a web-site," Kendall's eyes filled with tears. He brushed them away angrily. He wasn't going to cry over this anymore. He was tiered of the pain and the hurt. James was hear for him and loved him. Loved him, that thought made him smile. "A-anyway the site had some pretty hurtful things on it about me. Just go to the last web-site on my history to see it." Kendall said, still not looking at James.

James looked down at the phone, fiddling with it until he got to the web-site Kendall mentioned. He scrolled through it reading the comments posted on it. His eyes widened and his heart clenched painfully with each hurtful comment. "O-Oh my god." He whispered.

Kendall brought his hand up to rub at his neck, "Yeah, there pretty bad. And most of them are true, anyway." Kendall said causally when inside he just wanted James to hold him.

James grew angry and he threw the phone across the room. "J-James?" Kendall squeaked in surprise.

"Don't say that!" James nearly yelled. He grabbed onto Kendall, "Don't you ever say that again. You are beautiful, Kendall. Those people on that site a just jealous of your fame. There idiots. They don't know what they're talking about and they have no right. They don't know you." James softened. He caressed the blonde singers cheek with his hand. "But I do. And you are none of those things Kendy. You're funny, smart, determined, protective, a wonderful brother and son, drop dead sexy," James winked there which made Kendall blush a beautiful pink, "talented singer, best friend, and a pretty damn good kisser." He laughed at Kendall's steadily darkening blush.

"The point is Kendall your wonderful. And I love you just the way your made." The brunette smirked. "You're my cover girl."

"James! Those are my lyrics!" Kendall punched James playfully, fighting a smile. He felt so much lighter. But he couldn't get the insecurities to go away. "Do you really mean that?" He asked hesitantly.

James smiled leaning forward and wrapping his strong arms around Kendall's waist. "Let me show just how much." He whispered against Kendall's lips before closing the gap and bringing Kendall into a passionate kiss.

Kendall moaned at the intensity and let James push him backwards until the back of his knees hit the bed. He slowly sat down and crawled back wards, James quickly got rid of his shirt and crawled onto the bed and let Kendall pull the pretty boy on top of himself. James kissed up Kendall's neck slowly, stopping at the pulse point to lick up it. He ran his tongue up the line to his ear and nipped at the lobe.

Kendall moaned loudly, dragging his hands down James' torso, stopping to play with the hardening nipple briefly before traveling back down and to rest at the button of James form fitting jeans. The brunette boy pulled back and shook his head, pulling Kendall's hands away from his jeans and pinning them gently by the blondes' head. "No, this is about you Kendy. Let me take care of you." He breathed into Kendall's ear.

The green eyed hockey player shuddered and arched up into James' touch. James smirked, and continued to nibble at his earlobe. He kissed his way back down to Kendall's lips and stuck his tongue through the slight opening there. He let go of Kendall's hands to run them down the clothed body beneath him. James pushed his hand under Kendall's t-shirt and caressed the toned stomach underneath.

Kendall wrapped his long arms around James neck and pulled at the brown hair. James groaned in pleasure, but completely with drew from Kendall to stand up. Kendall whined at the action, then moaned quietly as James slowly lowered his jeans and boxer-briefs from his legs. His erection bouncing free from the confides and arching proudly from his body.

James grinned wickedly, "Like what you see?" Kendall couldn't help but nod. Kendall watched as James brought a hand to his length and wrapped his fingers around it. He pumped the member slowly, making his own erection twitch with interest.

"James." Kendall whispered, palming himself through his jeans, "Touch me." He begged.

James stopped his movements and climbed back on top of Kendall's. "Let's get these clothes off then." James said, while unbuttoning Kendall's plaid shirt. He kissed ever area of exposing skin as he worked the shirt off.

Kendall fisted the sheets below him. James was worshiping his body and it was exactly what he needed. Someone to look at him like he was the only one in the world. To be able to look at his body and not feel disgusted. And that was what James was doing.

"Oh Jamie." He sighed as said brunette took one of his nipples in his mouth. While one hand was occupied rolling the other between his fingers, he brought the unoccupied hand to Kendall's jeans and unbutton and unzip them. He trailed kisses across Kendall's chest to his other nipple and switched hands. Using his other hand to push the jeans and underwear down the blondes thighs and to his knees.

"Yes! James!" Kendall moaned loudly when James took the blonds erection in his hand and pumped. He continued to pump as he kissed and sucked at Kendall's chest and stomach, gaining speed as he went. Kendal buried his hand's in James' perfect hair and the brunettes tongue traveled his body. "Jamie more." He whimpered.

James complied by replacing his hand with his mouth. "Fuck, James!" Kendall screamed at the sudden warmth to envelope his cock. "Oh yes, fuck."

James hallowed his cheeks and began bobbing his head. He ran his tongue over the head of the length inside his mouth. He moaned around the cock, the noises Kendall was making where sending shock waves straight to his dick. Kendall's hips jerked forward at the action.

James let go of Kendall's manhood with an obscene pop. Kendall whimpered in loss, but before he could demand that wonderful mouth around his throbbing cock again, James stuck three fingers in his face and ordered him to suck. So he did. He stared straight at James while he ran his tongue over the fingers in his mouth causing James to moan. James withdrew his fingers and put his mouth over Kendall's instead, kissing him deeply.

Kendall knew what he was doing, he was trying to distract him from what was about to happen and he tensed. But the pain never came, instead Kendall opened his eyes when James pulled away to find the pretty boy's own finger buried deep in his own ass. Kendall nearly died at the moan James emitted. "Oh Kendall. I want you inside me."

James didn't wait for Kendall to respond instead he withdrew his fingers and positioned himself above Kendall's dick. He lock eyes with Kendall as he impaled himself slowly, not breaking eye contact until his hips where flushed to Kendall's. He closed his eyes and took a shuddering breath before lifting up and pushing back down.

Kendall gasped out. God, James was so tight. James went slowly at first then quickly gaining speed until he was slamming himself onto Kendall's cock. "Kendall! Yes, you fell so good!" James yelled out when the blonde hit his prostate.

Kendall grabbed the back of James' neck and yanked him down into a sloppy and wet kiss. "I'm so close James." He moaned against James lips.

James throw his head back and slammed down harder, "Cum inside me, baby. Please, I want to feel you fill me." James moaned, running his hands up Kendall's chest.

That did it for Kendall. The blonde singer threw his head back against the pillow and came. "JAMES!" He screamed as he filled the pretty boy with his cum.

"Oh, KENDALL!" James yelled moments later, the feeling of Kendall spilling inside him and watching the blonde loss it proving to much for him and he came in long spurts onto Kendall's stomach. He continued to bounce in Kendall's lap, working them both through there orgasms until they were both spent.

Kendall watch as James got off of him, grabbed some tissues and cleaned himself and Kendall off then threw it away, before climbing back into bed and wrapping the sheets around them. He pulled Kendall to his chest, kissing the top of his forehead.

"I love you, Kendall. More then anything." James whispered into the golden blonde hair. "And if you ever feel then need to cut of throw up, please come to me." He practically begged.

Kendall smiled up at his lover, giving the brunette a quick kiss. "I will James. I love you so much." Kendall replied, leaning his head against James' chest and listening to the steady thump of his heart.

He smiled, the loneliness that caused the urges to cut or vomit completely gone as they both drifted off to sleep once again.


End file.
